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The Ultimate Guide to Parenting aka Parenting 101

Parenting is a tricky job. Everyone who isn’t a parent has an opinion. And those who are parents…are either too smug to comment, or too harassed to do so. Everyone thinks that they have the ULTIMATE GUIDE TO PARENTING nailed to an art form.

I’m a mum of twins, some say that I’m doubly blessed, whilst others others look at me with sympathy, pity even. Both sets of people are right. However one rule that I NEVER BREAK is tell other parents what to do with they “blessed” offspring.

Parenting tips 101:

Why am I breaking my own rule to offer Parenting tips? Because I believe this is the Ultimate Guide to Parenting aka Parenting 101. ( You can burn those guides you bought when your cherubs were still cute.)

  1. You will forever feel guilty. This is normal. It’s probably a sign that you are a good parent. Guilt could be a sign that you care. Beware of the smarmy parents. You will recognise them from a distance- they are the ones wearing T shirts like ” World’s Best Parent” or worse, they have appeared in an episode of Jeremy Kyle  ( Brit version of Jerry Springer). you can hear them bragging about said appearance. Stop reading this post and call social services. STAT.
  2. There are no prizes at the end of this game called Parenting. You do not get to pass GO, nor collect £50. If anything you end up spending thousands. Do us harassed parents all a favour, and stop with the competition malarkey. At the risk of basically losing all my friends by saying this – DON’T BE AN ARSE.
  3. You are your child’s Parent. Not their friend. Don’t lose sight of this in the long game
  4. They need your presence, not presents. Even if that’s what they “think” they want. Play board games with them, read with them, cook with them. oh also-  limit their screen time. Have you ever tried to take away your child’s tablet? They act like addicts having withdrawals.
  5. The Parent who has it all together is also muddling his/her way out of this, just like you are.  If they tell you otherwise, they are either lying or they’re L-Y-I-N-G.
  6. There isn’t a rule book. Nor a guide. Including this one. Take every piece of advice with a grain of salt. If at the end of the day you still have the same humans you began the day with, you’re winning at life. Congratulations.

 

To sum it all up

Being a parent is like being a travel agent for guilt trips. If you think you are doing a terrible job of this whole mother/fatherhood malarkey- well done! You are in fact, the Parent of the Year. Just don’t expect a medal. Because it’s a thankless job. Don’t for the love of all that is holy and Simon Le Bon show other people ( who aren’t related or Godparents to your children) endless baby pictures. One or two is fine, any more is boring. And if you are showing the “first steps video” and talking about the state of their digestive system this morning- congratulations… You are officially boring

What do you think of this list? Do you agree or disagree with my thoughts? Do you have tips of your own to add? Do let me know in comments below~ Love Elle xx

PS: If you liked this post, you may also like reading my post on Family friendly things to do in Amsterdam.

NOTE OF DISCLAIMER: All opinions are my own. I have no affiliations with any company, there are no affiliate links on this post and most of the products on here( full sizes ) have been purchased by me. If some samples are kindly gifted by a company, I will declare this. But this does not affect my opinion, nor sway it . Please check ingredients list of all products that you buy, in case you have allergies to any of the products that I have mentioned. Please know that allergies can happen suddenly, even with known products. If unsure, please do a patch test on your elbow, and wait 48 hours before using any of the products I’ve suggested. Please do not copy, publish any photos on this blog or contents in its entirety or otherwise without my express permission.
Another disclaimer: This is meant to be a bit of light hearted humour/ or not depending on how seriously you take the post. Please don’t take it seriously, it’s just a bit of banter. Really…if you meet me in real life, prepare yourself for my proud mum bragging. Forewarned is forearmed. 

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